Every parent these days is dealing with an impossible situation. Sirens, running to shelters, lack of routine, and existential fear.
We are living through extremely difficult times, having been thrown overnight into a nightmare. Our daily reality changed in a moment, and we are all experiencing ongoing trauma. What characterizes the past year and a half is that, on one hand, we as a nation have gone through very extreme trauma, and on the other hand, we are still not past the trauma—we are still in a continuous state of war.
Parents are coping with their own stress and anxiety while trying to support their children through their emotional struggles. How can we identify signs of stress, anxiety, and calls for help in our children?
In children, it’s not always one sentence or a specific behavior that indicates anxiety. There’s a wide range of behaviors we should pay attention to, especially changes from the child's usual behavior. Reactions such as crying, clinging to parents, children suddenly refusing to go to the bathroom or shower alone and asking parents to stay with them—things that didn’t happen before—can be signs.
How can we reduce anxiety and stress in children?
There are no magic solutions. What’s unique about this period is the intensity, the magnitude, and the fact that we are not post-trauma, but still experiencing the trauma itself. I recommend not hiding things from children. According to each age, explain that we are in a special situation. Do use the word “war,” and don’t overprotect them—instead, provide information in an age-appropriate way.
The second thing that applies to both us and our children is sharing and talking. In the current situation, we all tend to withdraw, which is a natural tendency, but at a certain point, it can increase stress and anxiety. That’s why it’s important to talk and share and process everything we’re going through.
Of course, getting out into nature—with or without the dog—helps a lot, depending on security instructions. There’s something about the quiet, the trees, and nature that helps our imagination. When we imagine ourselves and our country in a better place, it helps us calm down and cope with reality better. Children, especially young ones, need movement and to release energy, so whenever and as much as possible, let them be outside.
Limiting exposure to the news—for both ourselves and the children—is also important. It’s perfectly fine to know what’s going on, but limit it and don’t overdo it. We’re all living in one long suspense movie, and before bedtime, it’s important to reduce the intensity, watch different content, listen to music, and give our brains a chance to rest.
When it comes to exposure to content and news, parents play a critical role, as they need to be aware of what their children are exposed to during the day—especially older children who have smartphones and might come across content that is not age-appropriate.
Herbs for reducing anxiety and helping with sleep issues
Medicinal herbs are somewhat similar to medication, but at the same time, they are very different. Plants contain many components that work together. Their effect is broad, influencing several systems at once, yet is also very gentle and safe. It may sound strange, but the body “welcomes” this combination, the abundance of substances, and the natural variety.
Medicinal herbs are effective for calming anxiety, improving sleep quality, and in many cases, their effects can be felt within a short period. There are several important herbs that help calm the body and cope with ongoing stress.
Chamomile flowers: Chamomile tea is known worldwide and is usually associated with various digestive issues. Concentrated extracts of chamomile flowers are used to calm the mind, relax tense muscles, relieve stomach aches, improve sleep quality, help with headaches, and calm the heartbeat and breathing during stress and fear.
Chamomile is suitable from childhood through old age. It is effective for everyone, and its strength lies in its gentleness! Children and adults can consume chamomile flowers as teas or liquid extracts.
Chamomile can be combined with another plant commonly found in many gardens—lemon balm (Melissa). This is a wonderful herb for sleep issues and anxiety. When consumed as a strong tea or concentrated liquid extract, you can actually feel yourself relaxing and your breath loosening as you drink it.
Valerian root: Despite its “medicinal” name, this is a gentle and safe herb that is also suitable for children. Valerian relaxes the breath and heartbeat during stress and tension, calms and improves mood and general well-being. It is a very effective and safe herb to use. Valerian can be taken on its own as a single herb—usually as a concentrated liquid extract (tincture) or in capsules—or combined with chamomile flowers to create a wonderful therapeutic formula.
May we know better days soon, and may peace come quickly.
Sharon Kozer is a clinical herbalist and the owner of Bara Herbs