When the school gates opened this morning (Thursday) after 40 days of fighting in Operation “Roaring Lion”, it was not only the return of students to the classroom – but an attempt to return an entire nation to functioning, parents finally back to orderly work, and children to routine. The mission is important, but it is important to understand how to do it correctly.
Our children paid a heavy price over the past month. They lost the basic sense of security that the world is a protected place. For hundreds of thousands of them, the war was not only the sound of alerts on their phones, but a searing physical experience. A child’s psyche is not an electrical switch that can be flipped at once from “survival” mode to “learning” mode.
There is a profound difference between “children of Pardes Hanna” or Mitzpe Ramon, who experienced the period with discomfort and concern but without a sense of direct threat, and a child who saw the tail of a ballistic missile embedded in the yard of the home or one who spent entire nights running to the neighborhood shelter in pajamas and flip-flops. For the latter, the terror is not just a thought but a “cellular memory”, a fear that has seeped deep into the body and takes time to dissipate.
Beyond that, it is not only the location, and pardon me, children of Pardes Hanna, a child’s resilience does not stand on its own, it relies on the resilience of the family and the home. We learned from the coronavirus and previous situations that the stability of the parents and the way they mediate the challenging reality to the child and to themselves is the best predictor of the child’s ability to recover.
Children who came from homes where transitions were difficult to begin with, or those who experienced tensions between the parents during the period of confinement, will find it much harder to make the desired “switch”.
The “dual perspective” model:
To get through the transition, the education system must adopt a “dual perspective”. The first perspective is directed at the general population: About 80% of children need a quick return to routine, to a daily schedule, to classes in the timetable, to academic demands in order to recover. Routine is the supporting force for a sense of normality. The second perspective is directed at the remaining 20% – the more sensitive children, those whose family circle is affected or those who experienced a direct traumatic event. For them, precisely a demand for a rapid return to normality may “break” them and push them out of the circle.
What is not recommended to do?
- Do not expect uniformity: Dear teachers of Israel, do not expect uniformity – not everyone will return with the same level of concentration. The attempt to fit everyone back into “boxes” at once is not fair and will not succeed.
- Do not fall into pessimism: A teacher who complains in front of the children or conveys despair about the situation harms their resilience. Children need an adult who provides a sense of confidence that things will be okay. Please leave the difficulty for the teachers’ room.
- Do not disconnect behavior from context: Tomorrow and in the coming days there will be many more outbursts of violence or crying in the classroom. Do not look at crying through the prism of a small quarrel, but through the prism of resilience. A girl who cries over a minor issue in third grade is likely releasing a deeper fear.
And what should be done?
- Restore control through tasks: Do not hesitate to give homework or tests (in the right dosage). When demands return to children, control returns to them. The message should be: “We rely on you, you are our resilience and your role is to learn”.
- A smile, tea and Bamba: Use soft tools to melt the fear. For the frightened child, a smile from the homeroom teacher, a shared cup of tea or a game in class are currently more important than any study material.
- Sensitive graduality: Accept the fact that some children will need a more gradual and quiet entry into the system.
In conclusion, the return to studies is not only an educational event, but an event of national resilience. If we manage to work with both hands – one hand holding routine and tests, and the other holding with compassion the wounded heart of those who need more time – we will succeed in returning our children to routine (until the next round).
The author is an educational psychologist and founder of the Merchav Center association.