In recent years, the conversation surrounding men’s mental health has gained significant prominence in public discussions. In a recent interview with The Jerusalem Post’s Studio Producer Yuval Barnea, Gideon Igra offers a poignant glimpse into the struggles male soldiers face as they integrate back into civilian life.
Igra, a facilitator and session leader at the “A Father is Born Program”—a new initiative led by the Women’s International Zionist Organization (WIZO)—works closely with groups of soldiers who are either first-time fathers or fathers who have been away serving in the army while their families continue to grow. This has become a common phenomenon, almost a regular part of routine life. However, it is important to recognize that this is not what most men envision their lives will look like when they first experience fatherhood.
The program’s goal is to help these soldiers transition back into “normal” daily life, addressing the barriers and mental obstacles they may face—combating the shock and triggers that arise when returning to basic societal routines.
"Conflict of Loyalties"
Male soldiers often struggle to reconcile their sense of national responsibility with their personal relationships.
“In the reserves, on one hand, you are there for the people, for the mission. On the other hand, you want to be loyal to your partner, wife, or girlfriend. These soldiers experience this conflict, and sometimes the other side becomes angry, especially when the war continues,” said Igra.
Igra elaborated on the pain a father in combat may experience, explaining that many fathers have missed significant milestones in their children’s lives—births, Brit Milah ceremonies, first steps, and more.
“There is a huge gap, and a lot of guilt in trying to compensate for lost time,” he said.
According to Igra, guilt creates a lack of “fuel for change,” whereas responsibility offers a structured path toward healing.
"Positive Masculinity"
“It is our responsibility as a country, as a society, to help them return home. When we neglect them, you see a lot of violence, including domestic violence and suicide,” Igra said.
Igra expanded on the idea of society’s responsibility toward male soldiers, noting that open discussions about men’s mental health are not yet normalized. However, following the events of October 7, these conversations have become increasingly pertinent and desired across various units in service, not just the elite ones.
Fathers who are trying to reintegrate into family life while reviving their civil identities are facing a range of traumas and roadblocks. Alongside this, they are confronted with the additional pressure of striving to offer more stability and financial opportunity for their families.
“Their cognitive, emotional, and physical functions may all be different now. I’ve seen fathers who have been kicked out of jobs because of it,” said Igra.
Creating space for connection and healing is essential for anyone struggling with mental health. This initiative by WIZO could be the start of a greater ripple effect, not only in Israel but also globally, for men’s mental health.
In relation to the overall healing of society through men’s shared experiences, Igra remarks, “There are still men stuck in Gaza. It’s always women and children who are prioritized. It’s time to give value to men’s battles too.”
"Power in Numbers"
Sessions hosted by WIZO, with Igra, typically begin with a grounding exercise, focusing on emotional regulation.
“They’re used to sucking it up,” Igra said.
He continued, explaining that there is strength to be found in a circle of fellow soldiers whom you can trust and who understand your struggles. Outside of this group, however, there may be a sense of being left behind, as everyone else continues with their daily routines.
The community offered by A Father is Born works toward helping participants open their minds to transferring the trust they’ve built in this safe brotherhood to their loved ones on the outside.
“It’s difficult to transition. Don’t expect it to happen instantly. Bring a lot of patience, softness, and compassion to your approach,” Igra added.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, A Father is Born and other connected organizations can offer tools and support. Resources can be found on their website.
Listen to the full episode below.