Every oleh can relate to the fear of being lurched across a bus or light rail in Israel as the drivers slam on their brakes suddenly, followed by the awkward yet memorable encounters of falling onto someone's lap inevitably as a result.
Taking public transport in Israel is a nerve-racking experience at the best of times, and now with the much-lamented 'temporary' shutdown of the Jerusalem light rail system (the bane of my existence) that has ground the city to a halt, many Jerusalemites are struggling even more to get around. Not to mention - the relentless summer heatwave has certainly not improved matters.
It’s at times like these that one might question whether they're really cut out for life here, or if Israel is the right place for them - yet also why it’s so important to find reasons to smile and the humor in otherwise frustrating experiences.
In a previous article in this column, I delved into the bureaucratic saga of trying to get a driver’s license as an oleh (new immigrant) in Israel. This week, we’re diving headfirst into the chaos of the Israeli public transport system — a wild ride of unforgettable moments that can make you laugh, cry, and exclaim, “Only in Israel!”
Personally, I’ve had my fair share of memorable encounters on Israeli transport - I could write a book with an entire chapter dedicated toward my vendettas against Israeli bus drivers and another toward the interesting people who I've met. But I was curious to hear from other olim around the country, so I reached out to friends and social media, asking for their wildest, weirdest, and funniest experiences. Here are some favorites:
The great bus boot escape
Every oleh understands the fear of attempting to wrestle their luggage out from under an Egged bus when suddenly the driver decides it's time to slam on the gas pedal while half of your body is still inside the bus. I’ve seen countless arms, legs, and bags trapped in closing doors, while bus drivers barrel ahead — either blissfully unaware or completely indifferent to their passengers’ unfortunate predicaments. Tali, a young olah from South Africa, recounted how she almost became permanent cargo, narrowly escaping a fate that involved being dragged halfway to Beersheba, as she was once reaching for her luggage under the bus, and it started moving with one of her feet still inside! She also described another awkward encounter in which she quite literally fell onto a haredi (ultra-Orthodox) man on a bus mid-journey, as the bus lurched forward when the driver. Nothing says “Shalom Aleichem” quite like landing in a haredi man’s lap.
A mystery baby
One day, Ariel was sitting on the bus, minding her own business, when a fellow passenger walked up to her, deposited a baby on her lap, and promptly disappeared to the back of the bus. No explanation. No eye contact. Just… here, have a child. Ariel then spent the next 20 minutes of her journey as an impromptu babysitter for a presumably very tired parent. They say Israelis are one big happy family—Ariel just didn’t expect to be thrown into one quite so abruptly.
An Egged driver showdown
David, from the Secret Jerusalem Facebook group, recalls a scenic Egged trip to the Dead Sea years ago, back when Highway 1 was just two lanes. As they reached Mitzpe Yericho, a car pulled out in front of the bus, prompting the driver to slam on the brakes. Irritated, the bus driver attempted to pass, but instead of simply overtaking the car, he turned into full police mode, practically running the car off the road. He then parked the bus in the middle of the highway—half of it still jutting into traffic—got out, and engaged in a shouting match with the other driver. “I thought they were going to trade punches,” David recalled. A few minutes later, the driver climbed back onto the bus, muttered something under his breath, and continued as if nothing had happened. Just another Tuesday in Israel.
An unexpected adventure
Maya, a young olah from America, was once traveling up north. Her bus happened to be packed with sleeping soldiers. When her stop approached, she pressed the button. Nothing happened. The bus didn't stop. She noticed others trying and failing as well, but her Hebrew was still shaky at the time, and she was too shy to speak up. So she waited. And waited… until she ended up in Katzrin (or possibly Tiberias—she was too flustered to be sure). By then, some soldiers had woken up, and she discovered that most of them were Australian. Luckily the soldiers were kind and helped Maya find her way back to the right bus. Sometimes, Maya recalled when telling the story, a public transport mishap turns out to be an unexpected adventure!
As you can see, taking public transport in Israel — especially as an oleh — can be daunting, exhausting, and very overwhelming. It can take everything out of you. But one thing is for sure: it’s never boring. Just one bus ride can give you a week’s worth of stories, new acquaintances, and, if you’re lucky, a free baby.