This is the season of giving. In Jewish tradition, three actions are recommended to ease our way into the new year: prayer, teshuva (repentance), and charitable giving. Prayer connects us upward, repentance turns us inward, but giving – tzedakah – moves outward into the world. What makes giving remarkable is not only its impact on others but its surprising effect on ourselves. The very act of giving produces joy.
Modern research confirms what ancient wisdom has long intuited. Study after study, across continents and cultures, shows that generosity leads to greater satisfaction and well-being. Spending money on others has a stronger, more lasting impact on happiness than spending it on ourselves.
It isn’t just those with unusually generous hearts who reap this benefit. Experiments where participants were randomly assigned to spend money either on themselves or on someone else consistently reveal the same pattern: Those who gave felt happier than those who didn’t.
Why giving feels good
At first glance, the reasons might seem obvious. When we give, we may feel better about ourselves, our self-esteem buoyed by an act of kindness. There’s the quiet pride of having done something good, the sense of expanding one’s spirit, of enlarging the circle of care beyond our own needs. Giving can connect us to a greater purpose, remind us that we are part of a larger human story, and fulfill a mitzvah – a sacred obligation.
Yet as researchers discovered, the story goes even deeper.
In one fascinating study, volunteers were asked to decide whether to donate to various charities while lying in an fMRI scanner. To the scientists’ surprise, the brain’s pleasure centers, the same ancient structures that light up in response to food or intimacy, glowed when participants chose to give. Generosity, it turns out, is not just noble; it is wired into our biology. It feels good at the most fundamental level. Our brains, quite literally, are designed to be generous.
This may explain why the pleasure of giving often feels different from the fleeting rush of acquiring something for ourselves. Buying a new gadget or indulging in a treat can bring a temporary thrill, but the joy of generosity has a longer half-life. It lingers, in memory and in meaning. Think back to the last time you gave a thoughtful gift, supported a cause, or helped someone in need. Chances are, the warmth of that moment remains with you even now.
Reasons preventing us from giving
Still, if giving feels so good, why don’t we do more of it? Part of the answer lies in the tug-of-war within our own minds. On one side, the deep, intuitive circuits of pleasure beckon us toward generosity. On the other, the more rational parts of our brain – our frontal lobes, the seat of planning and restraint – remind us to keep something back, to save for tomorrow, to be cautious. It is not stinginess but self-preservation that sometimes keeps us from acting on generous impulses.
And perhaps another reason is that the connection between giving and happiness isn’t always obvious. “It is better to give than to receive” is a phrase we’ve all heard, but it can sound like a moral lesson rather than a scientific truth. Yet it is true – demonstrably, repeatedly, and across the boundaries of culture, age, and wealth.
This season, then, invites us to return to our best selves. Generosity is not merely an obligation; it is an opportunity that enriches both giver and receiver. When we extend our hand, we not only change someone else’s day but also nurture the joy that lives within us.
Giving does not always require large sums or grand gestures. Sometimes the smallest acts ripple outward most profoundly – a smile, a kind word, a meal shared, a donation within our means. Each offering is a thread woven into the larger fabric of community. When we give, we strengthen that fabric, binding ourselves to one another in ways that matter.
In a world often preoccupied with scarcity – of time, of money, of attention – generosity reminds us of abundance. Abundance of spirit. Abundance of care. Abundance of joy.
This year, as the days grow shorter and the season of giving arrives once again, may we lean into that abundance. May we rediscover the happiness that flows, almost miraculously, from generosity. And may we step into the new year not only with prayers on our lips and repentance in our hearts but with open hands – ready to give, ready to receive, and ready to rejoice in the simple truth that giving makes us glad.
The writer, who holds a PhD, is a psychologist with the Tikvah Helpline, a 24/7 emotional support line for olim and lone soldiers: (074) 775-1433. She also hosts a podcast, The Van Leer Institute Series on Ideas.