Earlier this week, we marked International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. As expected, the debates in the Knesset quickly turned into shouting matches and finger-pointing.
Yet here is the real problem with how we talk about violence. Violence is contagious. Physical, financial, verbal, emotional – all of it spreads when tolerated. As the Manic Street Preachers once sang: “If you tolerate this, your children will be next.”
The song was written about drugs, but avoidance works the same way here. So do the consequences.
A harsh truth
This is not about “Who is the victim?” and definitely not about victim-blaming.
The truth is harsh: as long as women are afraid to report, as long as friends and families protect violent men, as long as weapons are given without thorough background checks, and elected officials publicly belittle their colleagues with misogynistic language, we are all part of the cycle.
Even supporting a female parliament member online often results in hateful attacks.
In political gender studies, we learned that everything is political because society is built on sharing power and resources. When we ignore the suffering of any group, we violate that unwritten social contract. That makes violence in the family not a private matter, but a democratic one.
We can choose to fight it – or ignore it. However, one day, it will reach someone you love: a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter.
So what can we do, practically speaking? Demand stronger state protection.
Expanding the authority of religious courts in family matters has repeatedly harmed women. We need laws that protect freedom of choice, protect victims, and punish even one-time violent incidents more severely. Regulation of weapons must also improve.
Hold the media and social platforms accountable.
Technology already exists to identify hate speech, but platforms simply avoid using it because it threatens engagement and advertising revenue. I hope we see the day when marketing managers unite and refuse to work with companies that ignore violent content.
Be brave – in the small, everyday ways: brave enough to warn a woman at a bar if someone tampered with her drink; brave enough to call the police when we hear something disturbing next door; brave enough to defend someone being shamed online.
It’s uncomfortable, but it’s necessary. Because building a safer society starts with each of us choosing not to look away.
The writer is a communication strategist, lecturer, and creator of the Positive Narrative Ownership Storytelling model.