Homecomings are typically celebratory events. At times, however, coming home can be extremely painful and distressing. Such is the case along the Gaza border as Israelis begin returning home to communities that were overrun on October 7. Along with them are the bodies of the fallen, interred in temporary graves, solemnly being brought home for eternal burial in family plots.
Most naturally, many are finding these homecomings to be overwhelming emotional challenges.
In addition to the war that erupted following the brutal Hamas attacks, there is a separate and highly consequential battle that is being waged on Israel’s home front – the battle for Israeli society’s resilience. This battle began long before October 7, will continue long after the guns on the Gaza front are silenced and the Israel-Hamas War is finally at an end. The intense trauma experienced by Israeli soldiers and civilians will prolong the battle for resilience for decades to come.
Winning this critical battle must be one of Israel’s top priorities, characterized by our desire not only to survive, but also to flourish as a country.
Throughout their long and winding history, the Jewish people have had to overcome the darkest of times and continue to be tested. Following the horrific events of October 7, individuals in Israel are suffering on levels that the Jewish people have not experienced since the Nazi Holocaust and World War II.
This strikes a personal note as, after the Holocaust, my father was the sole survivor of his family - he lived while his younger brother did not. Throughout the rest of his life, he was burdened by thoughts of “Why me and not my brother? He was 10 years old, I was 15. He should have survived; he was younger than me.”
Witnessing a level of suffering unimaginable
In my career as a mental health specialist, I have seen, firsthand, suffering on a level that is hard to imagine. It exists in the gnawing post-trauma that lingers long after the events a person has experienced dissipate, as well as in the way that the body, brain, and nervous system respond to meet these unsettling circumstances.
This human defense mechanism, commonly referred to as “fight, flight or freeze,” is also triggered by moral injury from witnessing or taking part in something that you cannot digest, assimilate or process; it belongs to the realm of human values that have been transgressed.
As a supervisor of therapists, I work intimately with professionals who are suffering from their own experiences of trauma and moral injury.
Not only must they confront the ongoing trauma of their patients, which exposes them to secondary trauma, but additionally, they may also live in close proximity to the violence itself. As a result, they are continually engulfed in a world of experiences that include death, rape, mutilation and other horrific and dehumanizing acts.
In one recent case, a young army commander came to me seeking therapy. He was suffering from lingering guilt following an incident in Gaza that had left him ashamed about not assuming command as expected when his commanding officer was wounded. When he came to therapy, I asked him to draw the positions of the soldiers in the field during the incident.
During this session, he was able to realize that the split-second actions independently taken by his soldiers during the battle had been the best choice for everyone’s survival. By retreating to a place where they could take cover and find protection, they were able to regroup and resume the fight more effectively afterwards.
What is critical to understand and treat, in the case of this soldier and others, are the moral injuries they have suffered, which can lead to suicide among young soldiers. Post-trauma is an inevitable part of the experience, but the inability to accept feelings that are unbearable to us as human beings is a major factor in this extremely worrisome self-harm trend.
As we move forward after the events of October 7 and people return home to rebuild lives in the devastated Gaza border communities, and as bodies are brought home for final burial, the trauma will resurface, as will the moral injury.
If we are truly to heal as a nation, it is imperative to acknowledge and treat both.
The writer is a trauma expert and the CEO of EmotionAid, which developed the “emotional first aid” technique now being used by many organizations treating trauma victims.