Last week, I took a tiny commuter flight from Washington, DC, to Montreal. The kind of plane where you can practically see from the cockpit to the tail without turning your head - and where the overhead compartments seem designed for lunchboxes, not luggage.
As I prepared to board, a gate agent glanced at my carry-on and said with certainty: “That’s too big. It won’t fit up there.”
I sighed, already picturing the awkward dance of gate-checking, waiting for it to appear - or not- at the carousel, and juggling my things in the meantime. But before I could hand it over, a flight attendant appeared beside me.
“Let’s just see,” she said with a smile. “Sometimes it’s all in the angle.”
She had me unzip the bag and slide my laptop out. Then, instead of trying to shove the carry-on in headfirst, she helped me tilt it, turn it around, and edge it in. With a satisfying click, it fit perfectly.
I thanked her and took my seat, but the moment stayed with me.
What to do when something doesn't fit into our life?
How many times in life are we told something “won’t fit”? Is that a dream too big, a problem too complicated, a relationship too far gone? And how often do we accept that verdict, when in truth, it just doesn’t fit the way we’re trying now?
Sometimes all we need is to take something out - the “extra weight” of unnecessary worries, old hurts, or unrealistic deadlines. Sometimes it’s about shifting our perspective, loosening our grip on how things should go, and discovering a better way in.
In Jewish thought, there’s a beautiful parallel in the concept of tzimtzum - the idea that G‑d “contracted” His infinite light to make space for the world. Creation itself began with making room. If G‑d can make space for us, surely we can learn to make space for others, and possibility - even when it seems like there’s none left.
Kabbalah speaks about reshaping the vessel so it can hold the blessing. Sometimes that vessel is our mindset. Sometimes it’s our schedule, our priorities, or our openness to ask for help. The blessing - like my carry-on - might be ready to land in our lives, but it’s waiting for us to adjust the angle.
And sometimes, like that flight attendant, the right person at the right moment can change everything. Someone who gently suggests, “Let’s just see. Maybe there’s another way.” A voice of encouragement that stops us from giving up too soon.
That flight reminded me: “Doesn’t fit” doesn’t have to be the end of the story. Maybe we just haven’t found the right way in yet.
So this week, if you find yourself up against something that feels too big, too stuck, or just out of reach, try taking something out, shifting the angle, or asking for help. You might just discover - like I did on that little plane to Montreal - that what you were told wouldn’t fit… actually slides right into place.
Mrs. Nechama Shemtov is Director, Women's Issues and Education at American Friends of Lubavitch (Chabad) in Washington DC, and founder of AURA Jewish Women, a dynamic network of prominent and influential Jewish women in the nation's capital. She is a Life and Relationship Mentor. She can be reached at Nechama@nechamashemtov.com