From very humble beginnings, the IDF Birthday Project expanded into a nonprofit organization that supports hundreds of families of reserve soldiers.
Leora Rizel of Efrat never intended to create a nonprofit organization. She only wanted to help a friend whose child was missing his father on his birthday.
“One time, a friend of ours was going into [Gaza] and he told my husband, ‘I feel so bad. [My son] is so mad I’m missing his birthday.’ This five-year-old was mad that [his father] was going to miss his birthday; he told him, ‘Go next week. Don’t miss my birthday.’ It broke my heart. He said, ‘How do I go back? How do I leave my family when I feel like my kid is mad at me?’
“It really ripped my heart out. I told him, ‘Go back [to the army], and I’ll help decorate his room.’ I decorated it with balloons and a little toy and I wrote, ‘Abba loves you and I’m sorry I missed your birthday,’ and left the note on his bed.
“When the child came home, he called his father and said, ‘Oh my God, you’re the best Abba ever! Oh my God, I love my birthday present!’
“And in that second, it hit me that… there’s a way to spin this. Abba’s not here but he didn’t forget your birthday, and Abba loves you and he’s still there. He just can’t physically be there. The soldier called me up, almost crying, saying ‘You really made me feel so much better. I can’t thank you enough!’”
Word got out, and other soldier fathers started calling Rizel, offering to pay her to do the same thing for their child. “It seemed like dirty money. I’m not taking money from a soldier who is going into [Gaza] – that’s not happening.”
Instead, she explained her idea to others and started accepting private donations, first informally on PayBox and later with an official nonprofit organization that could issue tax receipts. People began to donate toys, party supplies, and, of course, money.
“I honestly thought I was just helping a few friends in the neighborhood,” Rizel admitted. And then, what started in Efrat “kind of grew and took on a life of its own,” Rizel recounted with a laugh.
IDF Birthday Project
Nearly two years later, the IDF Birthday Project has more than 50 volunteers from grandmothers to teenagers. They have helped close to 7,000 children from Efrat and the surrounding communities of Gush Etzion celebrate their birthdays, even though their fathers are not home to celebrate with them.
Each child now gets a full party kit that includes decorations, a cake, candles, sprinkles, balloons, and a surprise letter and gift from the parent who is serving in the army.
Rizel explained that these celebration packages are also a gift for the mother, who is often too overwhelmed with the responsibilities of single parenting while her partner is away to make her child’s birthday special.
“So not only are we helping the soldier feel like he was there for his [child] on [his or her] birthday, but we’re also there for the mom who is barely holding it together to be able to give her kid a birthday present without needing to put all that extra stress on her,” she elaborated.
A donor with an empty apartment allows the IDF Birthday Project to use the space as a warehouse and volunteer headquarters. And whenever possible, Rizel buys supplies from businesses that are owned by reserve soldiers, which is yet another way of giving back to the families that are sacrificing to protect the citizens of Israel.
Rizel is the mother of three and wife of a reserve soldier herself. She spends a minimum of 32 hours a week (and significantly more time before a holiday) managing the IDF Birthday Project and its related programs.
From decorating one boy’s bedroom with balloons, the project now includes delivering special gifts and notes of appreciation to the wives of IDF reserve soldiers on their birthdays, welcome packages for newborns who come into the world while their fathers are in service, birthday gifts and care packages for soldiers, holiday packages, occasional dinners delivered to mothers who are holding their families together, and more.
Every month, Rizel opens a Google form for parents to register their children’s birthdays. She only does it one month at a time because the IDF Birthday Project’s capabilities are limited by the donations they receive.
Since the party packages are delivered personally, the volunteers who deliver them sometimes encounter other needs that the reserve soldiers’ families have. In one case, a young mother was about to give birth and had no family around to watch her other child while she was in the hospital.
Volunteer grandmothers
Volunteer grandmothers took two-hour shifts to watch the older child, and a donor paid for a college student to sleep in the house with the child for the three nights that the woman was in the hospital.
Rizel reflected that her husband’s job in the IDF is “very dark and heavy.” By contrast, she said, “I love bringing light. I always try to find a positive spin on everything. I felt that I could help bring some light to these families. I was able to switch that [approach] to something so happy.
“I can’t bring their Abba home, but look what I can do!” she enthused.
With a background in event planning, Rizel constantly thinks up thoughtful gestures that don’t cost a lot but help families feel supported and know that people care about the sacrifices they make every day for the citizens of Israel.
“I love creating things. I’ve been able to make something unique for each situation. Every [holiday], if you’re alone, we show up at your door with something. For Rosh Hashanah, we’re giving fish gummies,” she said, explaining that an actual fish head on the Rosh Hashanah table is generally the preference of the husbands.
The IDF Birthday Project gives out necklaces that say Miluima, a Hebrew portmanteau of miluim, meaning “reserve duty,” and ima, meaning “mother.” To wives of soldiers in regular service, there are Aishet Chayil bracelets, a reference to the woman of valor in the Book of Proverbs. Bat mitzvah girls get makeup kits. And on and on…
Wrapping presents
Rizel heaps praise on the volunteers who just want to help. Some love to wrap presents. Some love to deliver the gifts. All their volunteers are people who step up and say, “I want to help!” The entire project is 100% volunteer-operated.
“We can always use more volunteers. We’re open to hearing from people, which is why we have a website [idfbdayproject.com]. They are here to shine light on the dark times,” she said.
“Am Yisrael [the nation of Israel] is a puzzle. We all have a different piece. It’s important to acknowledge the families and to keep asking ‘How can we help?’ It’s constantly showing the [soldiers and their] families that they are not alone.
“It’s a pair of army socks. It’s an undershirt with a note and a picture drawn by a kid. There are many ways we can keep giving. It doesn’t have to be expensive,” IDF Birthday Project’s founder emphasized.
An unmet need that Rizel wants to take on is mental health services. “I’d love to fund-raise for mental health [support] for soldiers who are struggling with PTSD. It’s time to help them and time to help their wives,” she said.
“I can’t take away the evil that has been going on, but I am trying to shine light on the areas where I can. We know how to give. We know how to care. We know how to love,” Rizel asserted.
“It’s like a Hanukkah miracle – how it keeps going.”
The writer is a freelance journalist and expert on the non-Jewish awakening to Torah happening in our day. She is the editor of Ten From The Nations; Lighting Up The Nations; and Adrift Among The Nations.