A year has passed since the murder of the "beautiful six" hostages by Hamas in a tunnel in Rafah. The families of Hersh Goldberg-Polin, Carmel Gat, Alexander Lobanov, Almog Sarusi, Ori Danino, and Eden Yerushalmi shared personal columns about who they were, the loss, and the remaining loved ones.
The thirst is more desperate
Rachel Goldberg-Polin, mother of Hersh Goldberg-Polin, who was kidnapped from the Nova festival:
“A year has passed since the murder of our Hersh in the tunnel in Rafah. A year of confusion, pain, and suffering. But more than anything, a year of yearning, acute hunger, and thirst for our Hersh. It’s difficult for the people who love us, and it confuses them, because they, too, are desperate for us to be 'okay.' But we bear hard news in our mouths. Maybe it’s best you sit down. It hasn’t gotten better.”
"Every morning, the clock hands turn backward, and we are condemned to relive the trauma of loss every day, in conjunction with the general 'duda.' I have good friends whose son went on a big trip to South America. Does anyone imagine that after six months, they would miss him less? Of course not. They miss him even more. Every morning, they count down the days until they see him again. They’ll hug him again. Smell him again. Their yearning only grows."
"Why should it be different for us? Why would the yearning pass? Which bereaved parent would miss their child less over time? The thirst only becomes more demanding, more extreme, more desperate. One day, one week, one month, one year, one decade, one round of full lives."
"Every day, I carry a huge, clumsy, cumbersome backpack of hunger and confusion, and I carry it with me all day, throughout my life. I pray to God that we all grow stronger, the entire Jewish people, and learn to live with the desperate thirst and the eternal yearning for our children buried in the earth. I wish that from their place in the world to come, they help us tighten the straps of the backpack, ease the heavy burden on our shoulders."
"May we be fortunate to see our 50 kidnapped loved ones return to us immediately. May our brave soldiers return safely and soundly. May we, a bruised and resilient nation, be granted strength, recovery, healing, comfort, miracles, and redemption. And I pray that it happens – today.”
The long-awaited recovery
Shai Dickman, cousin of the late Carmel Gat, who was kidnapped from Kibbutz Be'eri:
“The past year was impossible to describe in words. We went through the whole grieving process, all the stages of sadness and repression. In the beginning, when Carmel was kidnapped, we had hope of bringing her back, believing that we could save her. But after the murder, it was no longer possible. That realization was hard, almost unbearable.”
"Anger was an inseparable part of this year. Anger at the situation, at helplessness. On the day of her funeral, a video of her, alive, was released, in which she asked the government to keep the path open to rescue her. It was a shocking, tangible moment. I had to find a place to direct this anger. At first, I was angry at the whole world, but later I realized that the people were with us. The protests, the demonstrations, the people stood up, and the reservists took to the streets. It was strengthening."
"The anger isn't directed at the army. The army is my partner, my friends, my family. They are doing everything they can, risking their lives, trying not to leave anyone behind. My anger is at the cruel reality, the injustice, the loss."
Like it happened yesterday
Michele Lobanov, wife of the late Alexander Lobanov, who was kidnapped from the Nova festival:
“You can’t describe these two years. It’s very difficult. It feels as if everything happened yesterday – and time just flew by. Just yesterday was the Shiva, and suddenly we’re already marking a year for the memorial. It’s hard to grasp how time passes, and how even after two years, there are still 50 hostages in Gaza.”
“On October 7, I was four months pregnant. Alex didn’t get to meet our son, Kai. He will grow up without knowing his father and will only know about him through stories. Kai doesn’t know the weight that rests on his little shoulders. He’s a child of hope and victory. When he grows up, he will continue his father’s path."
"Alex was a giving person. He always put everyone before himself, always wanted to give and help. He was funny, the glue between family and friends, the one who connected everyone. He didn’t get a chance to be with his children, even though up until two weeks before the murder, we were still receiving signs of life from him. It’s just painful.”
“What keeps me going is my children, Tom, who’s four, and Kai, who’s one and a half. They make me get up in the morning, eat, drink, and even smile. Thanks to them, I breathe. I want to give them a good, happy life, and I know that to make that happen, I need to be strong. So I started working on my recovery, step by step.”
“It’s important to remember that nothing is more important than the hostages still there. They need to come back. This war needs to end, and we need to put an end to the cycle of heroic soldiers being killed. I pray that this happens now, and that the people of Israel will be more united.”
There is nothing better than being good
Nira Sarusi, mother of the late Almog Sarusi, who was kidnapped from the Nova festival:
“On that cursed day, October 7, 2023, the ground beneath our feet collapsed. My son Almog was kidnapped, wounded, and his beloved Shachar Gindi, along with his friends Guy, Alon, Omri, Noam, and Daniel, were murdered.”
“At that point, there was still hope that those at the top would do everything they could to bring Almog and the other hostages back alive. The reality was different. Eleven months, Almog survived in harsh captivity conditions, until August 29, 2024, 40 meters underground, in a narrow, dark tunnel, the murderers' bullets reached him, along with Carmel, Eden, Hirsch, Ori, and Alex. The hope died, and since then, tormenting pain became a permanent part of my heart."
"How do you continue without Almog’s light? Without his smile? His hug? His love?”
“‘Do not let your spirit fall,’ Almog said in a video Hamas released during the Shiva. Almog asked – Almog will receive."
"So for a year, I have been struggling not to surrender to sadness and longing. A year in which I remind myself that I have a wonderful husband and children, who want and expect me to continue, not to sink. A year in which I try to maintain a routine: I go to work, manage the household, and engage in my hobbies from before. A year in which I participate in support groups for bereaved families, because ‘a stranger won’t understand.’ A year in which we, as a family, are focused on commemorating our beloved son, whose dream and vision became his will with his murder."
"We founded the organization ‘There’s Nothing Better Than Being Good,’ a phrase that accompanied him throughout his life and guides us today in establishing a safe home for at-risk youth, a farming initiative in the Negev, and an educational program promoting values in schools.”
“And amidst all this work, a year in which we live every day with the terrible missed opportunity. How didn’t we save him? The mind can’t process, and the heart struggles to believe. And now? Let anyone who dares say that military pressure doesn’t kill. Let them look into my eyes, those who disagree that returning the hostages is the top priority. Let them understand that every minute might be their last. Our soldiers risk their lives every day. The cycles of grief are widening. Put the ego aside. Stop the war. Bring back all the hostages and allow us, as a family and as a nation, to lift our heads, mourn less, and smile more.”
Human life above all else
Rabbi Elchanan Danino, father of the late Sergeant Ori Danino, who was kidnapped from the Nova festival:
"It’s impossible to describe this year. A year in which you can’t understand what’s happening around you. After so much time, the government still hasn’t done everything possible to bring back the hostages still in Gaza.”
“We received an IDF investigation, and we can point to it to show that military pressure led to the murder of the six hostages, including my son. And yet, it remains as if in a fog. No one takes responsibility, no one says aloud what is clear to us: When the IDF was on its way to Rafah, the six were murdered. Now the IDF is on its way to conquer Gaza, and who will guarantee that, God forbid, no more will be murdered? The lives of the hostages depend on this, and I don’t understand how this issue can be left aside. How can we sacrifice more and more, add more soldiers, as if we’re not talking about people’s lives?”
“I don’t feel that anyone is doing the simple calculation: human life above all. Not a complex group of calculations, not political balances – simply bringing them back. The State of Israel has always known how to deal with terrorists everywhere in the world. We knew how to eliminate leaders, we knew how to destroy facilities, and we knew how to strike precisely. And here, when it comes to children and adults who have been in captivity for hundreds of days, we can’t do it? Hamas is already agreeing to exile. It’s suffocating. So why not sign an agreement? Everyone knows there will be a breach of any agreement. They won’t change; they will remain enemies. The day after the agreement, they’ll fire mortars. So what’s the difference? Why risk the lives of hostages and soldiers?”
“My reality since then is one of loss. But I chose to live, to lead the family from grief, not into grief. I care, I help, I fight. Sadly, this is a war that shouldn’t have been. It wasn’t supposed to be my mission to fight for the return of the hostages. That should have been the first thing a country does. I found myself dragged into this, already on the second day after the disaster. Families of hostages came to me, and I told them I would be with them in every struggle, every conversation, every action. I’m here, especially for the soldiers, who I’ve been part of since the kidnapping.”
“I know what it means to send your child to the army, and I know what it’s like to live with the knowledge that someone chose to put my son’s life at the end of the list. Who am I to sit quietly? Who am I to rest on a couch at home or in an office chair when there are other parents living with that pain day and night? I’ve spent hundreds of nights with these parents. This is one illness, and it has only one cure: the return of the children. And every day that passes delays this cure.”
“Despite everything, I say: enough with the divisive discourse. Let’s stop giving space to those who want to tear us apart from within. We must unite, draw close, and see one another.”
A painful reminder
Shirit Yerushalmi, mother of the late Eden Yerushalmi, who was kidnapped from the Nova festival:
“A year has passed since our Eden was brutally murdered in Hamas captivity. A year of endless mourning, a pain that burns the soul. Not a day goes by without me crying, not a day goes by without me missing her.”
“I still can’t digest it and can’t understand that Eden isn’t here. During the year of her kidnapping, I tried to cling to the hope that I would get her back into my arms. I imagined the crushing hug the moment she would be released in a deal. I fantasized about crazy shopping trips with her, like she always loved. We even dared, my family and I, to ‘argue’ about who would sleep with her first.”
“There were so many fantasies, so many dreams, but it all shattered, and my heart broke into pieces the day we received the bitter news. I will never hear all the answers to all qthe uestions I had for her. The murder changed me. My status changed to a bereaved mother – a hard word, a heavy meaning."
"My heart is broken, and it continues to beat only because it has no choice. I’m not happy like I used to be, and I miss her with every breath. I don’t dare listen to music. It’s so hard, and I have no energy. I don’t know how to deal with this heavy loss. I turn to professionals and receive psychological treatments to help me learn to live again, alongside grief. I try to rise, but the weight is too heavy.”
“We’ve gone through a year of tormenting waiting and helplessness, and a year of loss, mourning, and bereavement. And the coming years will be no less difficult. Amid all the pain, my family and I have had the privilege of meeting five amazing families: the Goldberg-Polin family, the Lobanov family, the Sarusi family, the Gat family, and the Danino family, whose children were murdered with Eden in the tunnel in Rafah. We make sure to stay in touch, and we have a WhatsApp group called 'The Six Heroes.'”
“I was happy for those families who got their loved ones back in the deal that happened four months after the murder, and at the same time, I was very envious. I tried to avoid the TV reports, but it was inevitable. Almost every social media outlet covered the families’ meeting with those returning, and my heart couldn’t handle it. It highlighted the strength of the missed opportunity."
"I want to be strong for Eden. I want to commemorate her heroism. Eden is not just a story of captivity and loss. She is a story of love and a full life. The last words she said before being kidnapped were 'Find me, okay?' My family and I decided, in her memory, to change the phrase to 'Remember me, okay?'”
“The murder of Eden and the other five left a mark on the entire nation. The six became a symbol of heroism. They were heroes who survived under harsh conditions and malnutrition. Eden’s body returned, weighing only 36 kilograms. Eden will always remain a living memory, a painful reminder, and a call to bring back everyone still there. This is not right or left, secular or religious. The pain is ours all."
"Always remember to hug, love, appreciate, and remember that when we are united, we are stronger.”