The country’s founding prime minister David Ben-Gurion wrestled for decades with sleepless nights, suffocating anxiety, and the crushing weight of statecraft, according to diaries, letters, and oral testimonies freshly unveiled by the Ben-Gurion Archive.
The trove – opened jointly by the Ben-Gurion Heritage Institute and Ben-Gurion University’s Research Institute for Israel and Zionism – sheds rare light on the private turmoil of the man who declared statehood in 1948 and steered the fledgling nation through war and austerity.
A 1937 letter sets the tone: “For more than a week I have not slept a single night,” Ben-Gurion wrote to friends, lamenting that he had “not a moment’s rest, by day or almost by night.”
On May 15, 1948, a day after reading the Declaration of Independence in Tel Aviv, he noted in his diary that aides had roused him twice before dawn – and that he “could not sleep in the hours between.”
Years later, during a Washington visit on May 25, 1951, he penciled a single-word reminder in his pocket notebook: “Rest.” Only on September 3, 1954 did he record an exceptional victory: “Last night I slept more than six straight hours – for the first time in over fifteen years.”
Ben-Gurion frequently used the term “harada” (anxiety) to describe the dread he felt for the Zionist project and the lives placed in his care. Accepting the Defense portfolio at the 22nd Zionist Congress in Basel in 1946, he told delegates that sending new kibbutzim to the Negev left him “deeply anxious” because he had “become responsible for their lives.”
The pressure sometimes exacted a physical toll: cabinet discussions during the 1956 Sinai campaign were held at his bedside while he ran a high fever.
Finding strength and comfort in Torah
Friends say he sought relief through physical practice and biblical study. Movement therapist Moshe Feldenkrais recalled being summoned to the prime minister’s Jerusalem home in November 1957; after a breathing session that calmed him, Ben-Gurion phoned US president Dwight Eisenhower to confirm Israel’s withdrawal from Sharm el-Sheikh.
In 1960, the daily Davar quoted him saying that two hours in a weekly Bible circle “eased the gravest worries” of leadership.
“These papers inspire and humble at the same time,” said Eitan Dunitz, director-general of the Ben-Gurion Heritage Institute. “In a fraught security climate, when many Israelis struggle with fear and sleeplessness, we see the leader and the man – awake at night under the crushing burden of responsibility, yet actively searching for ways to cope. Leadership is not only decision-making; it is a personal journey through worry and doubt.”
Archive director Flora Fazarker called the documents “a treasure that exposes Ben-Gurion’s quiet, vulnerable side,” noting that personal reflections are scarce among the archive’s thousands of items. “The Old Man rarely spoke of his inner world,” she said. “When we find those passages, they reveal the sensitive and human dimensions of a national icon.”
The release is part of an ongoing project to digitize and publish Ben-Gurion’s papers. Visitors to the institute’s Sde Boker campus can study original documents alongside interactive exhibits on his legacy of statehood, pioneering spirit, and commitment to developing the Negev.
Dunitz believes the timing is apt.
“Ben-Gurion led through nights when sleep was impossible, yet he kept moving forward,” he said. “In today’s complex reality, his struggle reminds us that a people’s strength is tested precisely when it is hardest to close our eyes.”