In an emotional interview for the Jerusalem Post’s “Healing Israel: A Nation in Trauma” broadcast, Iris Haim, mother of Yotam Haim z”l, who was kidnapped to Gaza on October 7 and later accidentally killed by IDF fire during an escape attempt alongside two other hostages, spoke with journalist Ronnie Rossenman about grief, forgiveness, and resilience.
For three weeks after the attack, Haim held onto hope: “When I knew there were many murdered and kidnapped all the possibilities were open, there was a chance someone would tell me he was alive.” When she learned her son had been killed by friendly fire, she recalls her first thought: “Even to be angry they didn’t leave us, because how can you be angry at our own soldiers?”
Despite profound loss, Haim found purpose in encouraging the very soldiers involved. “I feel like a citizen in this country, and as one, I have a responsibility for what happens here,” she said, explaining why she publicly expressed support for the IDF. “Mistakes happen, but they have to keep moving forward.”
Months after the tragedy, Haim unexpectedly met the soldier who had fired the fatal shot. “He came up to me and asked if I knew who he was,” she recalled. “I remembered him from the shiva. Then he told me, ‘I’m the one who shot Yotam.’” Despite the circumstances, Haim responded with compassion. “'I’m not okay’ he told me, and I didn’t get angry at him,” she said. “Here was a soldier carrying unbearable guilt, and a mother telling him, ‘I’m not angry at you.’”
Today, she channels her energy into projects promoting unity and emotional healing, including a nonprofit in Yotam’s name. Her message to others in pain: “I live each day, I live each moment, I andf I can do something good - I do it.” “I’m proud of my country,” she added. “And I love it. I know we have challenges to face.”