Israel's American dilemma: We love America, but stop running our war

The war changed that.

How much influence should a foreign government have over Israel’s security decisions?

For decades, the United States has been Israel’s closest ally. Since October 7, that relationship has become even more visible. But among younger Israelis, appreciation for American support increasingly sits alongside frustration, concern, and uncertainty about what comes next.

That tension is reflected in recent polling. An Israel Democracy Institute survey found that the largest share of Israelis believe the United States has greater influence over Israel’s security decisions than Israel’s own government. In fact, respondents were twice as likely to say Washington has the greater influence than Jerusalem.

For a country founded on the principle of self-reliance, that is not a comfortable thought.

The relationship’s importance is difficult to overstate.

Dorani is among them.

“I don’t think Israel can be disconnected 100%,” he said. America, he argued, remains Israel’s most important ally. But he rejects the idea that the relationship is one-sided.

“Sometimes the media in the US say, ‘we’re giving, we’re giving, we’re giving,’” he said. “They forget that they get it as well.”

That sentiment surfaced repeatedly.

Ben Hayton, a UK-qualified lawyer and combat reservist who has served throughout the war, also views the alliance as mutually beneficial. Israel receives military assistance and diplomatic backing, he said, but contributes intelligence cooperation, technology, and security expertise in return.

“Israel provides not a few technologies,” he said. “The US benefits from a lot of support.”

Yet even among those who strongly support the alliance, there is growing unease about dependence.

That dependence becomes most visible when Washington and Jerusalem disagree.

Dorani remembered president Joe Biden’s response immediately after October 7 positively.

“At least from the American government, we got what we wanted at the start,” he said.

As the war dragged on, however, disagreements between Jerusalem and Washington became more visible.

For Hayton, those disagreements have had tangible consequences.

He recalled preparing for operations in Lebanon that were repeatedly delayed amid ceasefire negotiations. “We’ve literally buried soldiers because we weren’t moving forward,” he said.

For Hayton, the relationship has become entangled with domestic American politics.

“Our safety and our security is now coming down to short-term political barriers,” he said.

Dorani shared some of that frustration. While he sees the relationship as essential, he worries about situations in which Israeli military decisions become subject to external political considerations.

“There is a certain level when soldiers die,” he said. “In that moment I stop listening.”

Others frame the issue differently.

One young Israeli who asked to be identified only by his first name, Matanel, said Israel cannot afford to become dependent on any foreign power when it comes to matters of security.

“Since I was born, I’ve always been influenced by the fact that what saved this country is its ability to be independent in defense,” he said.

“The relationship between Israel and the US is a relationship of not small changes for both sides,” he said.

For many younger Israelis, that tension sits at the heart of the alliance: gratitude for American support alongside discomfort with American leverage.

No discussion about America is complete without mentioning US President Donald Trump.

A February 2026 Jewish People Policy Institute survey found that 73% of Israelis viewed Trump as better than average for Israel’s interests. Nearly half described him as one of the best American presidents in history from Israel’s perspective.

Yet support for Trump does not necessarily translate into confidence about the future.

Hayton worries about something else. “We’ve sort of tied ourselves to Trump’s wagon,” he said.

The greatest source of anxiety is not necessarily Washington today but America tomorrow.

Pew polling published this year found that 60% of American adults hold an unfavorable view of Israel. Majorities of Americans under 50 in both political parties view Israel negatively.

A Ruderman Family Foundation survey found that nearly eight in 10 Israelis are concerned about declining support for Israel among the American public. Almost half expect support among younger American Jews to weaken further in the future.

Dorani follows those trends closely.

“The support is important to us,” he said. “But if people sit in their office in America… and no one shoots missiles at them, they don’t really know what they’re talking about.”

Hayton sees the challenge differently. Israel, he said, has failed to explain its case effectively to international audiences.

“I think Israel’s complete and utter failure in the narrative war is basically taking all of our friends and allies and we’ve not given them anything to use,” he said.

What worries both men is less the relationship between governments than the mood of the American public.

Today’s university students, activists, and voters will become tomorrow’s lawmakers, diplomats, and presidents.

For a generation that has spent much of its adulthood in uniform, the US-Israel relationship feels less like an abstract diplomatic alliance and more like something that shapes daily reality.

Few question America’s importance. The questions are about influence, dependence, and what happens if support in the United States continues to erode.

America remains central to Israel’s future. What many young Israelis are trying to understand is whether the relationship that has defined Israeli security for decades will look the same in the decades ahead.■